Conflicts in marital separations: psychopathological issues and risks to minors

Abstract

This article examines the complex situations caused by ex-partners’ difficulties in “mentalizing” the distress of their separation and their tendency to “act it out” with interminable struggles which perpetuate destructive behaviours and which increase their own grief, as well as that of their children. The minors involved have a higher probability of emotional and behavioral maladjustment because they are involved in relationships which interfere in their psychic development (e.g. conflicts of loyalty, difficulties in the parent-child relationship, inversion of roles between parents and children), and in more serious cases, they are exposed to psychological abuse. Described here are the various forms of psychic hardships that the family separated by conflict may assume: described by some authors as downright “syndromes”, they represent the changing face of a pathological family dynamic of which each member plays his role and has his own good reasons for standing in the way of the dramatic changes which he faces. G. Giordano defines “parental mobbing” as the collection of hostile and persecutory behaviours started by a separated parent against the other with the aim of preventing him or her from exercising their role as a parent by means of devaluing and destroying the relationship with the child. This may include sabotaging visitations; marginalizing the decision making processes; use of threats; campaigns of denigration; familial and social elegitimization. I.D. Turkat describes mothers (“Malicious Mother Syndrome”) who, although they are free of other mental disorders and seem to have a good relationship with their children, exhibit damaging behaviours toward the exhusband with the intention of impeding a normal and affectionate relationship with his children. This behaviour may include true violations of the law, or excessive legal actions in order to burden the ex-spouse. G.L. Rowles speaks of the “Disenfranchised Father Syndrome” as a disorder of fathers who are partially or totally “paralyzed” by the distress of separation. They can do nothing to avoid it, and try to fight on in order to remain present in the lives of their children. But after having struggled in vain to stand up for their legal rights, they finally come to realize that they have been delegitimized in their parental role. Symptoms include those of depression, and those of Post traumatic Stress Disorder. Of great interest are the studies of R. Gardner on “Parental Alienation Syndrome” (PAS), a pathology which arises primarily from the context of child custody disputes. Its principle manifestation is the child’s seemingly motiveless refusal to maintain his or her relationship with the non-custodial parent, accompanied by an exacerbated and unjustified campaign of denigration; the latter being the result of direct and indirect programming on the part of the alienating parent, as well as the active and personal contribution of the child in question. The “singular relationship” which results between the minor and the parent deliberately aims to exclude the other, and in more serious cases, may represent a clear and powerful mental health risk factor for the child.